8 Ways to De-Stress After America Shits All Over Everyone

Previously published by Secular Shethinkers


If you’re like me, you’re probably just the slightest bit upset over the recent shenanigans going on in this country.  Between racism being a valid defenseThe Patriarchy reigning supreme over women’s bodies, and the typical non-necessarily-related-to-oppression-but-not-unrelated-either stress that we experience everyday, you might be ready to snap.  Well, I understand how you feel, but just to keep us all in freedom fighting shape, I thought I’d share some ways to relieve some of the tension you might be feeling.  After all, the feminist who takes care of herself (or himself) lives to fight bullshit another day.

1.  Exercise

I just finished a long run in the rain and it was exactly what I needed to clear my head.  If I get tired, I just picture the necks of Republicans under my heels and pick up the pace.  An even better way to unwind is kickboxing, because then you can picture your oppressors faces as you pummel the living shit out of a punching bag.

Feel the burn…of oppression!
Feel the burn…of oppression!

2.  Sex

The intimacy and passion of rolling around with my fiance can remind me that some men aren’t androcentric pieces of shit who want to control women’s sexuality.  And if I need more convincing that the world isn’t all bad, then I eat out my not-girlfriend or jill off like my life depends on it.

When you’re having angry sex, channel your inner Xena.
When you’re having angry sex, channel your inner Xena.

3. Drink

Or smoke weed.  I’m not here to judge.  While this might not be the healthiest means of dealing with stress, it’s still better than homicide.  Maybe you can turn it into a drinking game: every time you look at the news and feel like dying a little, take a shot.

You better give me a shot glass if you know what’s good for you.
You better give me a shot glass if you know what’s good for you.

4.  Eat

It’s hard to pick up your life and leave the country, but through the names of foods you can feel like you’re living in a sane country.  Would you like some French Fries, Belgian Waffles, Italian Ice, GermanChocolate, Greek Yogurt, English Muffins, Swedish Meatballs, or Canadian Bacon?  Mmm…I can taste the civil discourse from here.

Note to self: Do not piss off a hungry Betty White.
Note to self: Do not piss off a hungry Betty White.

5.  Watch

Sometimes I like to watch an old movie to take my mind off of things.  However, I would suggest avoiding movies like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington or 12 Angry Men because they might remind you how democracy and the justice system are supposed to work, only throwing you into another fit of justified rage.

The Zimmerman jury said WHAT?!
The Zimmerman jury said WHAT?!

6.  Play

We all enjoy different styles of video games, but for this task I recommend the most violent game in your library.  Maybe Assassin’s Creed or Borderlands.  Something with lots of killing.  And explosions aren’t half bad either.  There’s actually evidence that suggests “venting” you anger actually only encourages violent behavior, but science isn’t important right now.  Just shoot as many digital representations of your anger as you can.

Maybe multiplayer wasn’t the best idea…
Maybe multiplayer wasn’t the best idea…

7.  Demonstrate

If you just can’t calm down, it’s time to bust out the picket signs and march down to a government building.  Gather as many people as you can (don’t forget to see what paperwork you need for your area) and make your voices heard.  But please, don’t loot anything or light any cars on fire.  That just makes us all look bad.

Careful guys, those women look “unruly”.
Careful guys, those women look “unruly”.

8.  Vote

With the abolishment of the Voting Rights Act, voting can be yet another source of stress and anger.  But it’s the one activity that people in power should fear most.  Register early, keep the League of Women Voter’s on speed-dial for any fraudulent activity, and kick these fuckers to the curb.

If a politician is a legitimate asshole, women voters have a way of shutting that whole thing down.
If a politician is a legitimate asshole, women voters have a way of shutting that whole thing down.

Published by

Dori Mooneyham

Dori Mooneyham is a psychology student at Texas Woman's University specializing in queer youth and their families. As a feminist, trans woman, and lesbian, she offers many unique insights and perspectives not often seen in the academic world.

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