Previously Published on Patheos

Hi Patheos. I’m Dori Mooneyham, a trans-feminist butch lesbian writer, a queer youth counselor, and an infrequent public speaker on queer rights issues.

When I was first approached to write a guest article I wanted to do something light. A brief introduction of who I am interspersed with some Trans 101 stuff. Maybe I would write about the Wrong Body Narrative the media creates about trans women and explain why it’s so over-simplified it’s wrong. Maybe I would describe the relationship tropes surrounding trans women and our romantic/sexual partners. Maybe something about how trans women’s socialization as children is an entirely different beast from cis boys’ or cis girls’ socialization.

Continue reading Transitions

Let’s Talk About Postoperative Depression

Previously Published for Secular Shethinkers
[TW: Depression, Pain]

The final weeks leading up to my surgery date in May and June were filled with anxiety. Crippling anxiety that made me want to shut down and retreat from the world at the exact time when I needed to go out and kick some ass in order to get my passport and last remaining funds in the short amount of time I had. Obviously, you already know I managed to scrape everything together at the last minute thanks to donations, support, and especially help and hand-holding from Dirty Nerdy. While I waited to board my plane to Thailand with my money secured, my passport in hand, my medical papers squared away, and all the other extremely exhausting hurdles cleared, I sat in my terminal watching planes land and take off and cried. Uncontrollably. Probably for at least half an hour.

Continue reading Let’s Talk About Postoperative Depression

Rainbow Readers: 10 Great LGBT Kids’ Books

Previous published by Secular Shethinkers

While LGBT media representation is improving every day, it’s still pretty hard to find anything in children’s media that actually discusses LGBT kids, not LGBT parents. (Most likely because society sexualizes LGBT identities more than cis/het identities. ) But one area where parents can find good representation is in print. In no particular order, here’s some awesome LGBT kids books I recommend.

SpoonColoringBook1. Sometimes the Spoon Runs Away With Another Spoon

Not only is the artwork in this coloring book lively and fun, but it’s inclusive of all LGBT identities as well as people with disabilities, race, and other intersectionalities. And unlike other similar LGBT coloring books, this one is obviously made with children, not adults, as the target audience.

Continue reading Rainbow Readers: 10 Great LGBT Kids’ Books

Let Trans Artists Tell Trans Tales

Previously published by Skepchick

In the past year or two, society has seen a big shift in how trans people, and trans women specifically, are portrayed in the media. Where it was once mildly permissible to have cis actors tell trans stories because, at least we were getting something, now a cis actor playing a trans character is becoming more and more controversial. Because no matter how dedicated the portrayal is, how sincere the actor is in wanting to “get it right”, how genuinely the creators want to help the transgender community, or how much it moves their primarily cis audience, they will always get something wrong, and often they’ll get a lot of things wrong. It’s almost a running gag in the trans community at this point. I’ve had many a “trashy trans movie night” where we get together to watch Transamerica or Boys Don’t Cry and tear it to shreds over popcorn and alcohol. Where we were once happy with whatever table scraps we could get, over the last decade we’ve been creating our own art that accurately depicts our lives. We now have a slew of well known, outspoken trans activists and artists like Janet MockFallon FoxLaura Jane GraceCarmen CarreraLana WachowskiJenna TalackovaCandis Cayne, and (my personal hero) Laverne Cox.

Which means we are no longer satisfied letting cis people tell our stories for us.


Continue reading Let Trans Artists Tell Trans Tales

Trigger Warnings Are Not New

Previously published for Secular Shethinkers

Can we all just stop acting like trigger warnings are outrageously complicated?

I keep seeing scare-tactic articles from mainstream and feminist blogs trying to have a Very Serious Discussion about whether trigger warnings are warranted or have “gone too far”. And you know what? I’m not even going to dignify this “debate” by pointing out why trigger warnings are a reasonable accommodation for people who have survived traumatic events. There are already plenty of articles about that.

Instead, I want to talk about how trigger warnings have already existed long before the terminology, they just went unnoticed by people who didn’t need them.

Continue reading Trigger Warnings Are Not New

5 Lessons Learned From Mom

Previously published by Secular Shethinkers

In honor of Mother’s Day, I want to talk about how awesome my mom is. No, seriously, my mom is one of the coolest people I’ve ever had in my life and I’m lucky enough to have known her for 28 years (if we’re counting gestation). Of course she’s not perfect and, like all of us, she has her flaws. But she’s a huge part of what makes me the hardworking feminist you’ve (hopefully) grown to love, so it’s only fair to give her credit where it’s due. So to prove to you Shethinkers that my mom is the bomb, I thought I would share some of the things she’s taught me. Because everyone deserves someone as cool as my mama!

Continue reading 5 Lessons Learned From Mom

8 Ways to De-Stress After America Shits All Over Everyone

Previously published by Secular Shethinkers

If you’re like me, you’re probably just the slightest bit upset over the recent shenanigans going on in this country.  Between racism being a valid defenseThe Patriarchy reigning supreme over women’s bodies, and the typical non-necessarily-related-to-oppression-but-not-unrelated-either stress that we experience everyday, you might be ready to snap.  Well, I understand how you feel, but just to keep us all in freedom fighting shape, I thought I’d share some ways to relieve some of the tension you might be feeling.  After all, the feminist who takes care of herself (or himself) lives to fight bullshit another day.

Continue reading 8 Ways to De-Stress After America Shits All Over Everyone